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You should take your cues from your partner, not from documentaries or this sub, on whether your partner's views and actions are manipulative, brainwashy and damaging. I also didn't want to push him away by overwhelming him with talks about commitment when he's already stressed. I wanted very much to make it work with us, and was willing to compromise in areas that I normally wouldn't. And the fact that he didn't respond for two days was confirmation for myself that I did the right thing. I love my non-member husband of nearly 20 years. Yes; I suppose if each of us believe the other is brainwashed, there's going to be major problems later on. Despite having three children around, it gets super lonely. Then you might want to talk about all the things her church requires.
Look up all the threads of people who are dealing with their true believing spouses -- the guilt, the silence, the bad communication, the hostage-taking. All in good time, my dear. If you can genuinely deconvert her then cool. My number one question is about family - I want him to be able to be around for kids when that time comesso how realistic is it to expect him to be there for their sporting games or whatever they're doing.